27.02.2011

I can never figure people out. Or people's reactions. I stand behind things I believe in, but seldom get support. Then I present things I like, but where my conviction might falter and suddenly I have people behind me. I can't figure it out. But at the same time I think I love it. Because where would the mystery be if I did?

Today's Word: Mystery

26.02.2011

I enjoy being able to hold on to my childish nature. It makes me feel strangely alive. Like my decisions aren't so bad after all. Because in the face of the childlike enthusiasm everything becomes so pretty, and so much fun.

Today's word: Snowman

25.02.2011

I think it is time to start this again. Who knows perhaps it's just because my mind is a place I do not feel comfortable in tonight, or perhaps there's something else. But I just feel like it is about time I return to this. I need habits back in my life. This could be one. A very good one. One from which I could structure all other habits. And I need a whole bunch of new ones.

Today's Word: Habit

hgfghvn

16.05.2010

Being woken by the rain this morning, only adding to that swelling feeling. It's as if nature is showing off, showing me all its extraordinary beauty. I really don't mind, I'll just soak it all up.

Today's Word: Rain

15.05.2010

I am full. My heart expands. My soul tears at its confines, desperately demanding to be let free, to be allowed to float high above us all. Sometimes beauty cannot be dressed in words. Sometimes life cannot be dressed in words. Doesn't stop me from trying though.

Today's Word: Swell

14.05.2010

I feel a desperate need to vent so I think the best way is simply to take up this project again. Some more random words to go with my random life. A small outlet for all those things you don't want to discuss, yet cannot for the life of you get out of your mind. So yes. Project Words shall be continued.

Today's Word: Insomnia

15.03.2010

Let it pour. Let me drown. Let it cleanse. You shake your head. You want to cry. You need an outlet.

Then you stop. Stop and wonder why. Is there a reason? There isn't one. Then how come you feel so raw? How come you feel so open. How come you hurt without being hurt?

The scream rests in your throat. Ever so ready to tear itself free. Making your skin tingle, hum, vibrate. But what good would it do?

Making you wonder about points, about what's pointless. You know you are. You know you're one more in a sea of nothing. Then why does that knowledge bring you pain today? What's special about today of all todays?

It's pressure. That's what it is. You want to blame others, but you are the only one who bears responsibility. You're the one that gives their voices meaning. You are the one transforming words into weight.

But right now that doesn't matter. Because right now it rests on your shoulders. Right now it forces you to your knees.

29.12.2009

Imagination burning so brightly it scorches my mind. Flaming passion ignating the seed of what will be. My cheeks burn as the smile grows. It's a present I never imagined, but it's my present nevertheless.

Today's Word: Nevertheless

28.12.2009

My adventure is creeping closer. It is becoming a soon to be reality and I can't help loving every moment of it. Before it was stress, now all I see is adventure. I see possibilities and experiences waiting to happen. I see insanity lined with gorgeous beauty. I can't wait.

Today's Word: Closer

27.12.2009

My hands running across soft skin. A warm feeling. My heart beating erratically. A gentle smell. My wrist encompassed by smooth fingers. It's comfort and it's exhilarating. It's present. It's reality.

Today's Word: Mind

26.12.2009

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not a little bit insane. Then I realise it really doesn't matter. Feels too good to stop it no matter what the definition might be.

Today's Word: Momentary

23.12.2009

The cold drains me of my energy. I find myself cuddling pillows and blankets, shivering and desperately trying to stay warm. Yet I am cold. But I am incredibly happy I at least do have a home, something that protects me from the outside. Protects me from the winds and the snow. Still would be even nicer if my fingers would actually stop feeling like ice-lollies.

Today's Word: Ice

22.12.2009

"You can't be afraid of life". It sounds like such obvious advice, almost bordering on stupidity, but when you think about it, when you really think about it - it's pure wisdom. We are afraid of life, most of us at least. I don't like it. But the glorious thing is I don't have to like it, I can just change it. Don't get me wrong change isn't easy, but it is possible.

Today's Word: Wise

21.12.2009

How easy darkness is to fall into. How easy it is to let go of what makes you a good person. Suddenly you are taken over by nasty, you become everything you wish you weren't. Everything you despise in others. You fall so easily, but how come it is so difficult to leave once are down there?

Today's Word: Fallen

20.12.2009

Some weeks are weirder than others, weirder than most. This week has been one of them. I can't put my finger on exactly what the weirdness contained, but snow, speeches on sperm, crazy coincidences, peculiar pains, diligent dreams and sodomising butterflies were part of it.

Today's Word: Pain

19.12.2009

You walk in your own world. Your senses slowly lulled to the rhythmical creaking of the rubber from your soles against the snow covered ground. The cold bites your cheeks, but your blood is pumping hot. You feel alive. You feel strong. It feels good.

Today's Word: Walk

18.12.2009

Currents running through my body. Restlessness settling in, claiming me as hers. I wish there was something I could do, anything. I just need something that makes me focus, focus on something that isn't abstract. I wish I was a maths person then I could have thrown myself into solving an equation or something like that. I guess I could write, but not sure if I have the words in me. Or if the words will stay in my long enough for them to become reality.

Today's Word: Restless

17.12.2009

I'm falling in love. I totally am. How is that even possible? It shouldn't be possible. Yet here I am gently cursing the Christmas break for denying my access to a person I hardly know. I've got so many more words in my head, but I should probably keep them there. Though I shall once again confirm that fortune does indeed favour the brave.

Today's Word: Brave

16.12.2009

There can be no such thing as a coincidence, not on these levels. Not really. Part of me is thrilled, the other part is scared senseless. If I truly want things to not go the way they usually does then I'm gonna have to make a move. I'm gonna have to go outside of my comfort zone, and not just a little bit. No, I'm gonna have to step far far away from my security blanket and I'm gonna have to find a courage and confidence I'm not sure I contain.

Today's Word: Courage

14.12.2009

Been watching Spanish news and I can't get over how over the top the reporters are dressed. They look more like they belong on some fashion show than to be presenting news from a comicon. The anchors though were strangely casually dressed. I don't know, but I think I kinda like it.

Today's Word: Surprised

13.12.2009

Missed writing yesterday, but then again I left so many breadcrumbs all over hte internet that if I took the time to compile them, they would be more than enough words and sentences to post in here. So shall do that, but not today. Really not today, now I shall just revel in life and then later I shall revel in being hung-over. Or I won't revel in it, I'll just feel it. And hopefully my train won't catch on fire again as I'm going home. Here's to hoping.

Today's Word; Early.

12.12.2009

A day filled with excitement and geek. A good day, a very good day. One might not have thought so as the day started with a fire on the train, but from there...from there it only went up, up and beyond. Yeah, my love of geek knows no bounds.

Today's Word: Geek

9.12.2009

Too much coffee. Almost shaking. Facebook stalking. Pondering life. Pondering cynicism. Still almost shaking. Should go to bed. Couldn't sleep if I did. Too much coffee. I need a plan. I need a project. So yeah, I'm needy, and still almost shaking.

(woke up this morning buzzing with anticipation, going to bed almost shaking with...dread?)

Today's Word: Almost

8.12.2009

Saw her again. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Her smile and simple hello made me more hyper than the coffee I ended up gulping down due to the lingering nervousness of our chance meeting. Just remembering what it felt like to look into her eyes and share a laugh makes my heart act silly. Yeah, I need to get to know her.

Today's Word: Beat

7.12.2009

I was sitting down in front of the computer reading. Then suddenly for no other reason than that what I read got my mind buzzing I actually stood up and walked around the room. I had no intentions of going anywhere, but my brain got too busy to contain it all so instead of engaging more synapses in ponderings it decided to use up some of the energy by engaging in motor-functions. Sometimes my body and mind scare me a little.

Today's Word: Combination

6.12.2009

I am such an over-grown infant or possibly fat cat. I've realised that whenever I wake up and try to get myself out of bed I always rub my tummy in some kind of relaxation/reassurance. Not sure exactly what it does, but it is part of each morning as that weird and undeniable routine that you don't seem to be able to live without.

Today's Word: Routine

5.12.2009

I find myself aiming to destroy traditions I have previously put a lot of emphasis on. I want to try to erase that strange importance we put on Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. I don't get why they should be so much more important than any other days, but at the same time I can't deny that they do hold a special importance. This year I'll be working all through Christmas and I've planned on making my birthday non-existent as well. Because in reality they are nothing more than days and I'd rather have equal importance to all of them.

Today's Word: Days

4.12.2009

Another day, another set of words. Spent today thinking about how little the world appears to have changed in the past 10,000 years or so. Granted we only understand our past through our present, yet certain themes seem to be so universal and timeless that...well I'm not sure if it depresses me or fills me with hope. But I'm definitely leaning towards the negative.

Today's Word: Dwarf

3.12.2009

I've got five minutes to quickly type up some words to go with today. Not sure which ones they should be. Therefore I will simply acknowledge that today was a good day. And there is also a lot of truth to the statement that "fortune favours the brave". Hälften vågat, hälften vunnet - fast på ett bra sätt.

Today's Word: Drag