30.10.2009

I had written a nice little post on the beauty of laugh lines and the beauty of this world we live in. I had written about how much it made you feel, how much it made you want to live. Unfortunately the Internet robbed me of those words. So I shall simply use this time to remind myself of a promise I made to myself. If I meet her again, if she is alone - then I will take the opportunity. Then I must take the opportunity. Just a few words. But I need those words cause she tickles me. Something about her attracts me on more levels than one.

Today's Word: Promise

29.10.2009

Nothing can make me feel as good as music. Or well to be honest there are a lot of things that probably can, could and would, but still music is amazing. Some of it just caresses your soul in ways that are downright tickling. It doesn't matter what you are doing at a specific time, but listen to this one track and suddenly your entire mood is changed. It's almost like a sort of possession really.

Today's Word: Music

28.10.2009

My libido woke up today. It was a weird little experience. Right there in the middle of a seminar I was scanning through my fellow students, just letting my eyes run over them while we discussed body ideals and there in the middle of it BOOM. I was minding my own business as this very attractive woman let her hand run across the cleavage of her shirt. My eyes automatically followed her movements and I found myself squeezing my pencil till my knuckles turned very white at the decidedly naughty thoughts gazing upon her gave me. It was embarrassing because I was so damn obvious in my unintentional ogling, but it was also fun to see that my libido does still work in relation to "reality".

Today's Work: Libido

27.10.2009

I just sneezed. Totally uncool when you are in a public place with friends who know and understand the more complex parts of your sneezing. Worst thing is that I was actually editing a sentence discussing Ladycops reference to Better Than Chocolate. So totally uncool. Especially the looks of knowing I am now getting.

Today's Word: Public

26.10.2009

I've realised my subtext blog no longer feel like my own. So many people have laid eyes on it that somehow it is no longer my baby. Now it just exists out there, linked to me, but no longer that close bond between virtual lovers. No, now it is just something fun, something from the past, something that's mutated and slipped out of my hands. I think I need to post a new post in it very soon.

Today's Word: Strangers

25.10.2009

Eye-twitch. My family is really working that nerve. I know I'm short tempered and I know I've been in a foul mood lately, but damnit they really are working on my last nerve. No matter what I do it's wrong. I get shit for not doing enough things. I get shit because I am doing too much stuff. I just get shit. And for some reason these people who are supposed to know me better than anyone (or at least had the longest time to figure me out) don't seem to realise that the only way for me to not be exploding is for them to back off and for me to be left alone. If only for a day.

Today's Word: Twitch

24.10.2009

Today I backed into a door handle (weird fucking handles that are way too high up for my liking) with such force that I actually knocked the air out of my lungs. I now have a massive bruise between my shoulder blades and it hurts whenever I lean back. And all I want to do after a day at work is to lean back and relax. I can lean back, but the relaxing doesn't happen, only pain.

Today's Word: Clumsy

23.10.2009

Sometimes you have to wonder if it isn't all in your mind. Or if your mind simply is a strangely prophetic organ/tool. Weather it be croquet, cowgirls or fanfic updates, that mind of yours, or mine at least seems to sense it coming. It is a bit freaky, but absolutely wonderful. Therefore I will firmly hold onto the idea of spurs and chaps. One day.

Today's Word: Bent

21.10.2009

It is a kind of liberation through breaking down taboos, showing that there is no danger in displaying openness in regards to sexuality, and more importantly sexuality is not as serious as the heteronormative at times presents it to be, rather it is simply another part of life to be made fun off. And by ridiculing it in this self-deprecating over-the-top way a visibility is created which can work to familiarise a mainstream audience with same-sex sexuality and affection, and in turn can disarming this “alternative” sexuality of its potentially exotic and dangerous elements.

Today's Word: Sex

20.10.2009

Who knew a white t-shirt could instil so many naughty thoughts, but it can. Seriously, there is something in the way that pristinely white cotton is touching skin that sets the mind a-buzzing with potential and ideas. All of a more or less naughty variety. And it tickles and teases the mind with what could be, what is beneath that starched shirt, and it makes you worship at the altars of female masculinity.

Today's Word: White

19.10.2099

I woke up this morning and felt an intense need to squee-cap and be a proper fangirl. I grabbed hold of that feeling with both hands and a couple of toes. Therefore I would like to present you with a Christina Cox picspam from last night's episode of Dexter (4x04). Obviously the following spam is filled with spoilers for that episode and about her character, so proceed at your own risk. Now lets start with the pretty.

Today's Word: Pretty

18.10.2009

Sobering up is very similar to taking a shower, on several levels. Once your brain is calming down from the intoxication and slowly coming back to it's normal state something happens. Something happens and all those thoughts usually hidden are revealed.

The stars made me happy. The are more real than anything you can imagine. And the greatest illusion you'll ever know.

Today's Word: Stars

17.10.2009

Sometimes it is good to stand out in a crowd. I can't help wondering if that's the reason I do enjoy straighties so much. It is like an immediate stand-out and there's nothing you have to do beyond breathing and having the occasional same-sex attraction sneeze. Easy like very simple pie. I like it. At times.

Today's Word: Straight

16.10.2009

There is so much negativity in the world, and at times it truly baffles me. Don't get me wrong, I can feel down, out and blue, but I don't like to linger on it. I can't see what possible positive outcome could be found in worshipping negativism and all the things that go. No, not in a world that bends to my deliciously twisted mind. No, in a world like that I much rather celebrate positivism.

Today's Word: Positive

15.10.2009

Some days are just days. There is nothing that stands out. There is nothing that is truly memorable. Today was kinda one of them. The only noticeable thing is my google-fame. There is geeky pride involved with being on the first page of a google image search on "Fury Leika".

Today's Word: Fame

14.10.2009

However I am not yet ready to leave the N&N craze, but decided to change up the quote a bit. And since I've already devote large parts of this thread to gush about various luscious femslash goodness I see no reason to stop now. So while waiting to see CC in a uniform I shall simply enjoy coming back here and enjoy the perfect-est screencap in the history of lesbonic entertainment involving toothpicks.

Today's Word: Toothpick

13.10.2009

This is a silly piece that took its start in me wanting to write a Fury Leika/Jen Crane femslash piece (and needing a respite from reading about violence against the female body), but quickly turned into an ode of henching and 21 and 24. So yes, comedy (though not sure anyone will actually find it funny), and you should preferably have watched Whedon's Dr Horrible and read this this character summary to even begin to find it remotely funny. Also there will be some language in there.

Today's Word: Silly

12.10.2009

I'm discovering Dollhouse again. It is strange how something that a few months ago just didn't feel right now suddenly feels all kinds of right. I think I needed the break though. Before my preconceived notions of both Whedon and Dushku might have tainted the picture I was seeing. Now getting back into it without any expectations I suddenly find love all over the place. And it makes me realise what Whedon does so well, human relationships of all kinds. Say what you want about the man, but he can build interesting and complex and strangely real relationships.

Today's Word: Doll

11.10.2009

Darkness is depressing. I used to be able to find comfort and joy in the dark hours, now it is just a pain. It truly is interesting to what an extent the dark effects our moods. I used to be able to get up this early, and earlier when it the sun had already risen. Now it is a fight, a true struggle to actually pull onself out of the warm bed and into the cold reality.

Today's Word: Dark

10.10.2009

Did another one of those ADIML thingies yesterday, and formatted it and made it presentable today. There is something almost hypnotically relaxing about creating one of these long blog posts. All the formatting, tinkering with layout and wording. And basically just making it...perfect. Or as close to perfect that you'll get. It takes time, but it also disables the brain from other types of thinking. It is a most pleasant feeling.

Today's Word: Hypnotic

9.10.2009

ADHD you devilish fiend. I can't hate it, cause it is part of me, or well of course I could hate it, but I don't care for self-loathing long term. But it does mess with ones life, something terribly. From those small things of not being able to sit through a meeting without intense fidgeting to those more acute things such as not remembering things of importance. Then there is that whole matter of disinterest vs hyper focus. It is a neverending battle.

Today's Word: Battle

8.10.2009

Children are precious. They are also incredibly unnerving and patience testing. I can't understand the energy and dedication my aunt has that allows her to take care of 4 and at times 6 children, at the same time. It's just...yeah I don't have words for. And my dad without a moustache that is another thing I do not have words for. He looks so naked.

Today's Word: Speechless

7.10.2009

While enjoying myself immensely as I browsed the site (and found free downloadable copies of their books! - and yes I am totally thinking about downloading the one about fatherhood and twins) I also found my new favourite category of books, Superromance. I kid you not, there is such a genre. It does not include supermen or mutants, but is simply a kind of romance so super it deserves it's own genre.

Today's Word: Filth

6.10.2009

With my father on the other hand, now that is more of a challenge I could enjoy. There are more extremes, more complexities and dysfunctionalities involved in our relationship. Enough for me to want to give it a shot. To improve and develop. Even out the sharp edges. I feel like I could possibly add something in that role, something I could never add while playing the role of mother. I'm not saying it's logical, but it's my truth nevertheless.

Today's Word: Fatherhood

5.10.2009

Sometimes it is really hard to remember to write. I have the best of intentions, but the mind simply is too tired to put ideas into practicallity. It's a shame, because it would be kinda amazing to have a true record of each and every day. Perhaps all I need is practice. It is like a small way of practicing self-discipline. Like spending five minutes a day on top of a chair. Yeah, perhaps that is what I need to be doing, making sure my self-discipline is increased.

Today's Word: Self-discipline

2.10.2009

It is interesting that always when you learn about homosexuality and the history of it, you always learn it from a heteronormative point of view. It is never about the development of it as a community and the creation of value systems and languages. No, it is always about how the hetero world has classified, contained and controlled. It is a cautionary tale of how the straighties must accept and incorporate. Homosexuality isn't always about how the heteronormative reacts and acts towards it, it is actually an entire culture that could be studied in its own right.

Today's Word: Homosexuality

1.10.2009

Today I started a Gender Studies course on "Sexualities and Bodies" and we got asked to think about how we defined sexuality and our own relation to it. Unlike some of the wet behind the ears 18 year olds on the course, I have spent quite a lot of time contemplating both the concept as well as my own experiences of it. However it did spur my mind into a thinking frenzy and I realise how big an influence Nationalism as an ideology is on the gay community. And after a very interesting discussion with Mos the parallels only became more conspicuous.

Today's Word: Nationalism