30.11.2009

And it was then that I realised that I am content, yet I'm lost. I know who I am, yet I'm lost. I know what I want, yet I'm lost. It makes no sense, but I am thoroughly lost. I'm a shadow.

So how does one become flesh?

Today's Word: Shadow

29.11.2009

I had a very interesting discussion with M tonight, about how we seem to be suffering from a collective identity crisis. It's not completely unpleasant, and in reality we are very content in our lives. It's just...well we don't seem to be completely sure in our oddball status anymore. We're not completely sure how to relate to each other in that form. Hard to explain, but there's an individual certainty adrift in a collective sea.

Today's Word: Identity

28.11.2009

Sometimes you are just so content that it's almost a bit...I was gonna type alarming, but it's really not. All I feel at the moment is contentment. I know I'm not on top, yet I am content and feel good. Not because of any huge peaks of awesome joy, no simply because of the small pleasures adding up into a ball of pleasant tranquillity. I still want things I don't have, possibly can't have, but at the moment those thoughts are my future. Because my present is content.

Today's Word: Content

27.11.2009

Do you wish I was more of a commenter on your posts (I know I suck at this)? Do you wish for a few random music recommendations? Recommendations for links to sites on hair-removal or possibly Japanese anime history? Do you want me to write more posts on [insert topic here]?

Is there anything else you think I could produce that would make you happy? Want me to write you a poem about bananas? Picspam smexy hotness of deliciously ripe Granny Smith?

Today's Word: Deja Vu

26.11.2009

The dream in itself is pretty straightforward and is just my mind's way of telling me to believe in myself and the driver's licence will be mine, while using Sue and Prentiss to make the lesson seem like more fun. The sock part however, I really don't understand, because the amount of depression I felt in regards to having strawberry adorned socks just wasn't proportionate. Not sure what the metaphor behind it is though. Anyone know what Freud had to say concerning dream imagery of small red berries?

Today's Word: Strawberries

25.11.2009

Driving is a weird act. It gets even weirder if you add darkness and rain. As a matter of fact it's not just weird, but somewhat frightening. Yet I've made up my mind and will therefore be getting my driver's licence come January. It's all about determination. That same determination is what will assure the world to bend to my standards and truly make Baby Prentiss gay.

Today's Word: Determination

24.11.2009

Pressure, but good pressure, like in a steamy jacuzzi with glistening and tanned and flexing and pumping and....yeah, nevermind. In reality this is just a mindless attempt to fit a few more posts into the 2009 archive of this blog. If you feel like this is a worthy cause then upload your 12 pictures describing the past year and lets all look at them and laugh ourselves silly while we engage in a brilliant example of virtual exhibitionism.

Today's Word: Odd

23.11.2009

My thoughts exactly. However I do also think that the Quest-kiss was the first move and that was clearly initiated by Xena. But I think that was more a spur of the moment thing where she needed to move beyond words. However any second move towards greater intimacy must come from Gabrielle.

Today's Word: Epic

22.11.2009

I seriously dislike how people always expect you to have time. It is as if you should constantly be available for them, no matter what. And then as you become snippy as they've invaded your time and energies they act surprised. I don't get that. I really don't.

Today's Word: Annoying

21.11.2009

Also yesterday, after 12 weeks of chemotherapy and 6 weeks of daily radiation my dad finally ended his treatment. The tumours are still there, but they have shrunk and there are no signs of it having spread anywhere else. The doctors deemed it a success. Not out of the woods, but the radiation and chemo will stay in his body and will continue breaking down the tumours and there is a lot of good hope to be had. Best damn health news in months.

Today's Word: Good

20.11.2009

I guess I shouldn't dwell on its origin, cause no matter where it came from its an image and a feeling I treasure. It isn't entirely positive and it isn't entirely negative. It's just that complex feeling of living, and there's breathtaking beauty to be found in that sensation of life.

Today's Word: Hope

19.11.2009

Due to the symbiosis also known as Shell I found myself vicariously reliving Los Hombres de Paco after gently suggesting she'd give it a go. In turn she got me (wasn't that much "got-ing" needed) to rewatch it alongside her and I felt like immortalising the squeefest. Therefore I hereby present a list of my top 5 PepSi scenes in the form of a series of picspams. However we shall start the series with the runnerups.

Today's Word: Spam

18.11.2009

Ape -- Co-Founder of LSE says:
   not really no, my dimple is actually starting to aching from the smiling from the squee-fists alone
-ache
Shell - Co-Founder of LSE says:
   Who'd have thought we'd go gaga over a spanish model, eh?
Ape -- Co-Founder of LSE says:
   I know, I mean I don't find models attractive
   I can see a type of beauty in them
   but I don't find them attractive
 until now

Today's Word: Attraction

17.11.2009

I don't seem to have many words in me today. I've spent the better part of it squeeing alongside Shell, and our conversation has been fairly limited to a lot of "awws" and "oh so pretties". Perhaps not very productive, but thoroughly enjoyable.

Today's Word: Pretty

16.11.2009

"No one has to believe it but us."

You seldom understand how much you truly cherish or has missed something until it is returned to you. As you then revel in having it back you are faced with how empty your life was without it. And life is empty without friends. Very empty.

Today's Word: Friends

15.11.2009

It's funny how much better one fits when you let yourself be yourself. Lately I've been having problems "fitting" into family gatherings. They've felt a little bit forced and I've somehow ended up feeling strangely empty and lonely. Like I'm the sore thumb. Today I realise what's been missing, me being me. The more queer and gay I let myself be in their company, the more I feel like I actually fit. I fit by not fitting. I can't really explain it, but lets just say it is better being yourself than dressing up to fit the people around you. Because in reality the people around you won't know how to deal with you unless you are yourself. At least when the people in question are family.

Today's Word: Family

14.11.2009

“I can’t do this anymore, Xena,” she said looking up at the figure above her. Unable to continue suppressing the tears the green eyes quickly filled and spilt over. Her pain taking on liquid form and slowly ascended down her cheeks. “I can’t.” She closed her eyes, restrained by her own pain.

Silently kneeling next to the crying blonde Xena looked on, unsure as to what she could do, what she should do. Meanwhile trapped in what she wouldn’t do.

Around them the small village was burning,

Today's Word: Fanfic

13.11.2009

I was pondering if my love of the hypertext had anything to do with our shared sense of hyper. Then I realise it's really just a love of text, any kind of text. I can't quite explain it, but it's an undeniable attraction. So yeah, this is me coming out as a texsexual (which is not the same thing as texsex mind you).

Today's Word: Text

12.11.2009

Jag började städa mitt rum imorse och efter ett tag började min far att stirra storögt på mig. Till slut kunde jag inte hantera mera stirr utan utbrast, "Vad!?". Då kontrade han med ett, "Vad gör du?". Jag mumblade lite lätt tjurigt att jag höll på att städa. Då begav han sig genast mot baklådan (där vi har alla våra pennor och dyrlikt). Det var då min tur att fråga, "Vad gör du?". Med ett större flin än Jokern svarade han att han behövde ju en penna så han kunde rita kors i taket.

Today's Word: Family

11.11.2009

I've watched over 15,000 videos on YouTube, and that's only counting the vids I've watched when logged onto my account. It should also be noted that this is my second account. Realising that kinda thrills, chills and fulfills me. Here's 25 out of the 15,000.

Today's Word: Watch

10.11.2009

Not only does it make sure smaller amounts of nutrition will last an individual longer, but it will also open up the possibility of a larger population sustained on the same amount. Not to mention the shortage of viable land to live on, with a smaller size also comes a larger geographical freedom. Which in turn made me think about human beings, is dwarfism perhaps the way to go? Or is it simply one step in the right direction? Wouldn't an ideal development of Homo Sapiens have us grow smaller in statue? I mean our technology is so advanced that our physical size matters very little, or it would if we stopped focusing on tall and muscular as an ideal. Will human beings one day be the size of rats?

Today's Word: Small

9.11.2009

I've got nothing to add really, it's just such an incredibly warped concept to wrap your head around. A country, a city was divided into two, literally and geographically. It's just...and then thinking about the wall crumbling, opening up a closed world. And all of it happening very recently.

Yeah, like I said no words, but definitely worth studying and remembering.

Today's Word: Remembrance

8.11.2009

Firstly the intentional "can't get enough" is O+S' Lonely Ghost. Simply can't get enough of this gorgeous song and I listen to it almost daily. Secondly we have the song that's been stalking me, Beyonce's Halo. This song follows me around like a faithful puppy-dog, and the thing is, I kinda like it. I'd never put it on intentionally, but still I've got a weak spot for it. Thirdly we have the song that currently will not let me go no matter what, I wake up with it dancing through my mind and it sings me to sleep at night, Dolly Parton's Touch Your Woman.

Today's Word: Music

7.11.2009

Either way I was thoroughly entertained by this cheesy and corny Spanish soap/crime-show/comedy. It was fun and refreshing to see something new, something rather different from what I am used to. It was also very refreshing to see a same-sex couple get as much open affection and sexing time on a mainstream show as the hetero ones. But what will truly stay with me is the fact that they didn't cover up the torso when they autopsied women. We got to see dead boobs, and that doesn't happen every day.

Today's Word: Spanish

5.11.2009

Laura Holt introduced me to feminism. Or that isn’t completely true, 9 to 5 introduced me to feminism, but it was Laura Holt who thoroughly educated me in the concept. She is one of those incredibly strong and determined women that you would be a fool not to admire. Not only did she know what she wanted, but she made sure nothing, not even other peoples’ expectations could or would stand in her way.

Today's Word: Admire

4.11.2009

I actually wrote a lot of shit yesterday, it's just a shame I can't post any of it until I've handed in and had my essay and home exams graded. Ah, well. What is a day without words anyhow? It is a day that doesn't exist, kinda. And randomly, but the internet is a gay place, it totally is.

Today's Word: Place

2.11.2009

I am forcer.

That’s the way I’ve always wanted my autobiography to start. I wanted it to be a dark tale, one of those stories that sent shivers down your back. One of those stories that makes you sick to your stomach. That’s what I wanted. That’s what I’ve always wanted. Unfortunately that’s never how it ends.

Today's Word: Silly